Kulfi - The western way

This is me making kulfi the gori girl way.

Step 1 - Open Packet (Obtained from the Indian shop in the Westerners you can't cook this from scratch section)


Step 2- Do basically what the packet says but add a tonne more pistachios to impress your guests.






Step 3 - Use plastic Alcoholic shot glasses as a mold.

Step 4 - Chop the handles off plastic throwaway spoons (land fill) to make sticks.


Step 5 - Keep the spoons for entree- Cover the broken end of each spoon with tin foil. Then fill each spoon with a smoked oyster and cream, garnish with chives. (Do not serve at the same time as ice cream)

Step 5 - Allow the kulfi to set on the Tupperware (Overpriced plastic ware) - in the huge deep freeze .(The one we don't need except for all the western prepackaged crap I make my husband eat).

Sending Money Home

Well this is a road we have finally come across... the dreaded "sending money home" discussion.

Surprisingly it went relatively well, possibly due to my "Can't really give a stuff" attitude that has fallen upon me. Some arguments just aren't worth having these days and with some pre-xmas arguments about other money I just wasn't ready to fight again.

So how much is enough ? There is a fine line as to whats a valid amount and whats so small its a slap in the face.... but where this line is I am unsure.

My main concern about sending money home is the commitment. If we get into a position where we can not afford to send the money one month then what? I know 100% my husband will not call and say "I cant afford it this month mum".... so then what happens?

We will have to send the money and it will be at the cost of something.. probably my sanity.

So this brings me back to the "money sending home" issue.

Just because we are "overseas" does it really mean we are responsible for sending out hard earned savings back home?

I feel there is this misconception that We and other Desi's are living outside India to earn more money.... Where in fact I (even thought not a desi) am not living in India for soooooo many more reasons that that.

So back to the amount... How much is enough?

Diwali Pictures

Happy Diwali !!!

Happy Diwali to everyone.. I would have posted it yesterday but we were run off our feet hosting a Diwali festival party.

I will post pics later, but I spent all day Saturday decorating the back of the house with draped saris cascading from the ceiling, silk cushions scattered around the deck and my doors adorned with traditional torans. The fence and front of the house were covered in handmade floral garlands and floral rangolis were laid out in the entrance. I even bought a new Ganesha statue for the occasion which looked lovely in the soft mood lighting that was created by the strands and strands of fairy lights that lit the garden and the 4 poster day bed which was layered with organza fabrics.

And then..... and then... it rained!!! Yes it rained and rained and rained....
the 40 guests were squashed into a covered area of no more than 12 square metres which also housed the food tables. Food tables that were meant to hold the tandoori chicken, stuffed parathas and kofta balls which were to be cooked on the outside BBQ along with the saffron chicken and lamb biryani. Instead the table was full of food that could be cooked on the stove top or the microwave. cooking for 40 guests last minute was near impossible so they missed out on a lot.

No one of course knew what food they missed out on and by the moans and groans of over eaten men I would assume they would not have had any room anyways.

Needless to say we will be eating saffron chicken and biryani for the next 6 weeks.

I wrapped 8 people in saris and even did a very brief demonstration of Indian dance to some drunken old people (my mother and her friend)

The night was a total wet crazy mess but everyone (apart from me and hubby) enjoyed themselves.

We have vowed never to do it again as its just too much work but we did actually say that last time too. I guess we have 12 mths to forget how traumatic it all was.

I must be becoming terribly superstitious as after everyone left (1am) I had a cry at how it was all a bad omen and nothing was going right in our lives.

To make it all worse we had a Transfer done yesterday (pregnancy topic) and I was meant to be taking it easy... I already feel guilty I have caused this not to work by running around like a blue ass fly all night.

sigh...

Now I have a house that looks like a bomb has hit it and it will take me 12 mths to clean up the mess.

Next time .(see already saying next time) we will make sure we have staff to do all the work .. (haha who am I kidding, like we will ever have house staff)

its certainly a nice thought though....

Full House @ the Temple

Well Sunday we took another trip to the temple, as ignorant as it sounds I am not sure of the exact reason only the reason given to me by mu husband which was "We have to go to give respect to those who have passed away" which is probally the same reason mumiji gave him and thus motivated him to go.

Well we know the temple is open from 4-6pm with a feast afterwards so we make plans to go at 5:45pm , which is enough time to place our offering and then eat, yes I know that's probally rude and ungreatful But atleast we were at the temple right?

However... A special pundit was in town and the temple was so full my gori butt was half in the temple and half on the door frame. Does this mean I was only half blessed??

The temple was split into men and women and I had to sit on the men's side partially cause there was no room on the ladies side and partially because I was intimidated by all the Indian Aunty's and could not bring myself to go and sit amongst them.

I had a good view of everyone else and that suited me as we sat there 1 1/2 hours while the extended singing went on.

To one side of me there were several HareKrishna's (westerners) they were clapping, singing , chanting and had each speach translated to them by what appeared to be the head krishna.

I kept thinking how boring it was that I did not know what was being said and this comes back to my usual moan of how my husband does not translate anything. When I asked what was being said he just said oh just crap.

So I continued to sit there for 1 1/2 hours listening to the pundit speaking words I could not understand...

Now onto the food... well hubby says it was fantastic!!! I don't know how not to take offence at this... I mean he gets indian food cooked most nights and to see someone jumping with glee over the vegetable subji that was to me simply just OK.
I find it a reflection on my cooking and feel that I have yet again failed at being the "Perfect Indian Wife".

Yes I know Iam being too sensitive.. but well that is who I am.

"I am sensitive and Id like to stay that way"...Song by Jewel

Lighting the Incense

As I write this the sweet smell of incense fills my house as we again enter into whats called the Two Week Wait to see if we are pregnant.

I have been lighting the incense and praying for 4 months now ..(yes I said praying) to who ever will listen.

Every month that passes shatters a little more of my heart. I thought the miscarriage was our bad luck and now the Dr says it is possible getting pregnant in the first place was the fluke. Only time will tell.

Mumiji thinks I should dress nicely, put on makeup and "pretend like its my honeymoon" and all will be ok. I don't know if she is telling me I look like a cow pattie or if she is trying to tell me to have loads of sex with her son.

While all this is going on we have started building another house, it was a bigger house to make room for the baby, but I guess now its a bigger house to make room for our future baby (trying to remain hopeful)

I have embarked on lots of different measures since the miscarriage from healing crystals, chakra healing and this friday I am having acupuncture I even had a pshyic reading. Even if they don't work they will occupy my mind for some time.

I guess that's it.. sorry its a little depressing...

I promise I'll snap out of it soon....

Not Much To Say

Well I thought it was time I wrote another post, though I dont really have anything much to say.

We went to the temple at the weekend to do a Pooja for vikrams father who passed away several years ago.

It has been so long since we were there that the pundit had changed, apparently months ago and a house had been built to house the new pundit too. There was a free feed on after the session. Apparently the free feed sorry apparently the dinner happens at 6pm every sunday. I noticed people didnt show up till 5:30 which means they only had 30 mins of singing and listening to the pundit so I guess they were there for the food too.

We didnt stay as it was cold and the food would have been too spicy for me anways, plus we had been there since 5 and hubby was growing impatient sitting on the floor.

He now says he might go more often, On sunday free food day of course. LOL

thats it.. nothing exciting to talk about or of interested.. just trying to get by and find hope in things again.

thank you to all those who sent me well wishes for the Miscarriage. I am sorry If I did not respond to everyone personally.. Just had lots on my mind as I am sure you can Imagine.

Don't Believe the Pundit

ok... so for those of you who don't already know and are still sending well wishes....

I am sad to tell you that I had a miscarriage and lost the baby at 12 weeks......

everything is in limbo right now including my brain.....

We are both totally devestated and heartbroken....

The Pundit Was Right !!

So back in December I had a dream and in that dream a Pundit told me I would be pregnant in 2 months... and well.. guess what.. I am ...

So the blog's been a little quiet while we adjust to the idea of having a little Baby around the house... It was sort of planned yet still a shock...

Physically:
I am 11 weeks pregnant and have spent the past 10 weeks praying to the porcelain gods with morning sickness and nothing I have been experiencing physically or emotionally is repeatable on here.

Food:
We have had to resort to lot's of cold food or processed food to avoid mix smells the only time we have had home made curries is if I have sat outside and came back in only once the meal was complete and smelt of only one thing.. eg. Butter Chicken and not all the cooking smells of onions... then mustard seeds.. then cumin seeds... etc etc..

Hubby:
I am sure hubby is feeling neglected when it comes to food, but it could be worse for him he could be the one throwing up all the time right?
As for hubby... well I better not write about him on here.. but let's just say "his controlling attitude, over protectiveness and paranoia better settle down soon" or its going to be a very stress ful pregnancy.

India:(The word "India" being inlaws)

India isnt too involved except from a few stupid old wifes tale that my husband keeps telling me about.. to which I find stupid and just ignore.
such as sitting on the floor is wrong and can cause miscarriage....
( I'll sit where ever it Bloody feels comfortable..LOL)
My logic is.. If I haven't seen it in a book, read it on a variety of websites then it can't be worth writing about or talking about. I can't listen to everyone about everything or it will drive me nuts, I will work out what feels right for me and thats that.

Baby:
I keep asking my "Dream Pundit" if its a boy or a girl but he isnt answering me... but I believe its a girl as for any other details we don't know we have not had a scan as yet.



I'll finish up with Mumiji's answer to eveyrthing which is " Take it easy and be Happy" a very nice pregnancy motto indeed.

Learning Hindi

This topic has been discussed a few times in my yahoo group and things come around in cycles its back to the same thing...

Learning Hindi...

I have made no attempt to seek outside help with learning, because well for one very good reason and that is my husband speaks hindi I should not need to go outside the home and pay someone.

I have made small efforts along the way and although my enthusiasm waivers I feel my husband is no supportive at all.

On numerous occasions I have asked him the "hindi word " for something and as u do when learning a language you learn by repition, so I ask my husband to repeat it again and again so I can HEAR the word. after about 4 attempts he looses interest or worse shuts me down with a
"Your not doing it right" and thus the lesson usually comes to an abrupt end.

He did use to teach me odd words when we were in the car, but that stopped after we came back from India.. I dont know if my using some words in India has anything to do with it..
maybe people were laughing at me ? Maybe I sounded stupid ?

or maybe he doesnt want me to learn?

Every other Indian/Western couple I know do not have this problem,

their husbands bring hindi movies into the home and teach them hindi.. my husband refuses to admit that hindi films now come with english subtitiles.. (his exscuse was I wouldn't understand them )

I even bought myself a Hindi Language CD... I practiced and practiced built up enough confidence to try it out on my husband.. and all he said was " people will laugh the hindi is too formal"

so I stopped learning it..... Even if I do pick up words, i dont think I will ever be given enough confidence to speak it without any support.

My husband is even developing a translation program and didnt do a Hindi sample version until he needed it for someone else. He could make me my own program with ease.

So what's going on ? am I missing something ?

Sounds Of The Road...

India has it's own symphony of sounds from car's beeping to cows mooing and just the hummm of millions of people in the street.

I suffer from sound sensitivity and at times sounds become very loud and isolated leaving me drained,disoriented and distressed.

When I go to India I have learnt to take ear plugs for sleeping in and at times just a time out from the sounds of India....

But sometimes there is no getting away from the sound of India

The car honking:

In the western world we honk for someone to move, In India they honk to let you know where they are on the road.. obivously if everyone was driving in lines we wouldn't have that problem but that is a whole other article.

Honk.. Honk.. Honk... and Toot ..Toot...Toot are common road sounds but let's not forget the Jingle Jingle of the bicycle horn.

All are put into place to warn you... and having had tried to cross a road in India you would understand the need for this "warning system" if you are to make it to the other side without being clunked by a passing rickshaw which is so loaded up with people and bags that he has no way of stopping even if he did see you.

but The problem I have is working out when the toots are for me.. or if they are for a car on the other side of the road or if I am even hearing toots or Jingles afterall I would rather be hit by a Jingle than a Honk or Even a TooT.

Without being taught the skill of Crossing roads in India,
I Basically put my head down gather my Chunni (so it doesn't fall) and allow a more suitable "Indian Adult" to lead me across the road to safety.

Stop !
was one of the first words my mother in law taught me. Funny enough Stop in Hindi translates to sound of the word BUS which works well when crossing the road

--Watch out BUS!!--

and If I am wearing a sari, I just don't cross any roads.

and thus this is my system of crossing the road.

The light goes out in the city of Lights

OK so its a new year and maybe time to make some confessions....

let me set the scene for you....

We were visiting Varanasi> the holy city of light. Pilgrims visit the Ghat to offer a puja to the gods. In our instance it was to cleanse us of our sins (or something to that effect)

I guess my in laws thought it was required for me to visit or maybe they had done something they needed forgiving for.. me I am a saint (lol) so the thought hadn't crossed my mind to visit somewhere to cleanse my sins.. however I was interested in visiting the famous Ganges.

We had been staying at a hotel the night beofre and after breakfast I was vomiting and getting sicker by the moment, but the pilgrimage to the Ganges was made easier by the air-conditioning and laying down on the back seat.

As we exit the car I realise once again that I am the only white person there, and I was extra white due to the illness which was creeping up on me.

it was extremely hot that's my first recollection... I was thirsty but avoiding fluids to avoid toilets so was I was admittedly weak.

So Iam just basically doing as I am told, smiling for the camera and concentrating on left foot right foot as we go across the bridge and down the stairs..

Iam watching everyone submerge them selves in the surprisingly fast flowing water, my mind wonders thinking about their sins and not my own.. I mean if you have to be submerged into the water.. geez what had they done?? lol

I am handed my beautiful Puja bowl which consists of a bowl made from pressed banana leaves and contains some flowers and of course a lamp. Which is to be lit and placed into the water...

At this point Iam focusing on the water.. wondering how much sicker I will get if I go into the water and just how far am I expected to submerge.. I begin my inside my head chants.

" I am not going in there"
"I am not going in there"

I am passed the puja offering and told to place it into the water. I am only expected to wet my feet as I place it into the water...

At this point I am feeling rather sick, rather weak and extremely hot...

I start down the steps, concentrating on not falling into the water head first and wondering how I will get back up again, when the lamp goes out!!

it went out !! what did that mean ?? I didnt know.. I didnt care so i popped it in quickly and with the gush of the current it was whisked away out of sight....

but there is no way I could have done it again... as I got to the top of the steps I felt dizzy my vision was tunneling and my hearing was gone, I remember mumbling "Iam going to pass out" and then I was seated down onto the cold marble and cold juice was brought to me.... Eventually We continued home with me vomiting....


If I ever go back to Varanasi I will make sure my lamp is lit.....

Dosa Disaster

So last night we had Dosa, I enjoy dosa because the dosa its self is not spicy (usually) and if I remove all the filling this is something I can eat Whilst in India.

So occasionally we have Dosa at home.

which is made from a packet mix of course because..well Life is just easier that way. So instead of using the normal brand Gits we picked up some other brand and I found the whole experience more traumatic than normal dosa making.

Firstly the mix tasted like it contained too much BiCarbonate of Soda and

secondly it was bubbling like yeast on my ( trudged all the way back in my hand luggage from India) Dosa Pan.

Which contrary to what you may think will NOT assist you in anyway for making dosa it is merely a flat pan that does nothing more than get hot and in

my case burn the arse off my dosa.

It does not pour, flip or roll your dosa's for you, nor does it fill them with yummy stuffing.

basically you are on your own for all of that.

I do recall having a successful Dosa or 2 over the 5 years I have been making them but as to what went right or how I did it I don't know.

My dosa's even with the GITS mix are floppy little sad sacks, I have tried thick, thin, low heat, high heat and have even tried chanting

Ommm Ommm

make my dosa's work

make them crispy and light

so we can enjoy

yummy Dosa tonight.

Ommm Ommm

but still my dosa need divine intervention.

Here is a picture of a Pro at work.. If anyone has some helpful tips I would appreciate it. Remember what the dosa man says...

"No good dosa turn goes unflipped"

Perfect Indian Wife

This post has been deleted....

Hi.. sorry this post got deleted cause it was suggested that it was a little too obvious who the post was about...

so its gone..

but feel free to discuss it further...

to cut a long story short its about meeting expectations of being a "Perfect Indian Wife"
something I know I will never be... but I am still jealous of those who have been labeled this by people around me.

Shopping Indian Style

Shopping this is something I enjoy in every country and India is no exception to that.

I find the mall's easier to shop in, though obvioulsy more exepensive
(read more about Indian malls on my previous post)

This picture is us at a Sari Sale , I was looking for something specific and of course being fuzzy that I am we left with nothing after over an hour or rummaging through piles and piles of sari's.

I find it difficult to shop in India because as soon as the stall holders start pulling me in I feel intimidated, pressured and dont buy anything. Shopping with family is quite similar, I feel pressured to make quick decisions and ofcourse they always say Iam paying too much.

but it has to be kept in mind, whats too much for them is still a bargain for me... and if the alternative is going home without anything than Id rather pay an extra dollar or two to avoid dissapointment.

For some reason shopping ALWAYS get's left till last... hubby doesnt want to shop plus we are always with family.. it would be nice once and a while to be let out together to go shopping alone.

I usually use shopping as my "excitement builder" when going to India I focus on all the lovely things I can buy and try to stay unstressed.. so when I dont actually get to go shopping I am dissapointed.. Usualy Mumiji takes my shopping list and goes and gets it for me on the last day..

Which is great, but also not my own selection or shopping..

hence why I like the malls with supermarkets full of stuff on the shelves.. i can browse , look think and then buy...

I try strictly to buy only things we have a place for.. but that doesnt always work... I have to draw a line somewhere right or Id buy anything and everything..


This is me shopping at Choki Dani a Indian themed village hotel.
The prices were too high but still a bargain I bought a very beautiful silver box..

This is Didi and I shopping at Delhi Hart Bazaar again its a tourist bazaar but its decent shopping with food and toilets and a bazaar for every state of India, even the local shop here Including Didi who bought those cushion covers , I bought some ponchos and knick nacks for taking home as gifts.

Things I would like to buy in India..

*A Baby Elephant!

*My own Salwaars and saris

*An orphaned child or two

*Biggest Ganesh statue posisble for my yard

*Antique Indian Furniture and oh so much more...

8 Years.. 2920 Days...70080 Hours

This is how long it has been since I first met my husband...

10 of decemeber 1996 I started chatting online to a guy with the nickname "sam.."
We were the only two in the chat room called broadcast which doesnt even exist anymore.......

We chatted for 10 hours straight.... We never stopped from that moment on......

now it's 8 years later and we are getting ready for our 4th Christmas together as husband and wife.....

gee time flies when your with the one you love....

Sari's & Salwar's worthy of a mention

So I have been clicking on my google ad's (above) for sari stores and have come across some very interesting designs worthy of a mention

Let's start with the damn right crazy prints.



Way to expensive Sari

then we have the wear would it be worn list
fashion wear? Little crazy looking

Wedding Sari?

As I have never bought my own suit, and don't get chance to go shopping for clothes in Indian because we usually have people with us and well I am the slowest and worst clothes shopper in the world I have composed a wish list. Not necessarily a list of ones I actually want, but styles Id certainly like to try one to see how they look.

while buying online would be easier and I could compose my own collection of clothes from the comfort of my own home I do find the process extremely unrealistic and don't intend to pay $100's of dollars for things I am sure would be much much less in India. Is it the price of convenience that I just might have to pay ?

Nice style suit Not sure of the color as I have red hair but really like the cut of the top

Nice White Suit Not sure it would stay white on me specially in India but nice and modern

Modern Style Bit bright for my liking but I have worse.

Dress over Pant Style this is a nice dress over the pants style which I like as I do that with my western clothes when I am having a fat day

as for saris personally I prefer georgette cause its OH so much lighter as for colors, I am not sure still Cyber looking.

I really wish all those Indian models were not so pretty though.. Maybe they should design a store with western models for us GoriGirls.

Where does everyone else shop ? What's your favorite sari? Have a picture or it ?

Ok so here are a few pics of me wearing sari's and Salwaars.

Pictures

This is me in my green salwaar with my "I don't like green" Face on.. actually it was my iam totally drained face the morning before the wedding reception... Oh yes that velvet box on my lap is filled with pearls.....









This is a picture of my and Hubby the day of Diwali it would be back in 2003. Nothing comical to say about this one..I dont recall it being very funny at all....















This would be me and my friends in 2004 at our own hosted Diwali Festival.. This red sari is my favourite it is a georgette fabric, very light and I love the red it has silver detailing on it..
My friends were wearing their own saris bought whilst in India backpacking.







This is a Picture of my mum dressed up for Diwali 2004.





















This would be one of my original Salwaar suits, that was given to my by my MIL before marriage at least i think thats where it came from... I like the color and the black Chunni which you can't see.
this is the "welcoming ceremony" as we enter the house as husband and wife for the first time.



Thats all I seem to have of me in Indian clothes.. which really isnt very good considering I have been married for 4 years..
Maybe I will have to capture those moments more..if not only for the blog.. but is anyone really interested in seeing what I wear?? I think not...

The Indian Influence

Things I find myself doing now that I am married to an Indian.

This isnt the top 10 list, just the first 10 I can think of right now..

1: Washing the dishes under running water

2: Never leaving the house immediately after sneezing

3: Drinking more water

4: Watching Indian Cooking Shows

5: Watching Indian Travel Shows

6: Humming to Indian Bollywood Songs

7: Watching what I do with my feet

8: Laughing at T.V Program "Kumars at No 42"

9: Laughing at T.V Program Goodness Gracious Me

10: Shopping for Saree's and Salwaars

11: Writing a Blog

Pics

I have added some pics to the previous posts. not sure if I really want to do that.. but hey I have done... for now atleast.

Salwaar Kameez

I'm still learning the differences between the names of the suits..It seems to vary quite a bit when I'm being told, but as far as I am concerned they are all Salwaar Suits..

I have never bought my own Suit or Sari, they have always been bought for me, in a great range of undesirable colors, I have a few favorites which I wear again and again as to retain my own level of comfortabilty when in a weird situation such as temple visits or visiting relative etc.

I actually prefer to wear Sari's as firstly you can use pins and secondly the fabric is wrapped around me not wrapped between my legs. Though I have all my blouses made longer as I don't like to show my stomach.. Exposed ROlls just isnt right..


The suit pants, the first time I tried one on was with the aid of my sister in law, I pulled them up over my backside and yes. The waist string went all the way through..Obviously a critical error on their part at just how big my backside was.

So the cord was extended much to my embarrassment and some knots were tied into the ends to prevent the GoriGirl from pulling them out. I was asked if I had ever worn a string waist before. I was almost offended but too embarrassed to explain it wasn't me it was the short string..

So I have them on and I am thinking something is wrong.. Why is there so much fabric in between my legs? So I fiddle around and adjust the crutch over and over again.
Still confused as to why there is a wad of fabric so thick between my legs that it feels like a oversized sanitary towel.

I still have not come to term with this and take my pants off as soon as I can when ever wearing a suit..

Now for the chuni, why can't I keep it on ? If its not hard enough getting it to be the same length I can never ever keep mine on.

I move it slips
I cook it burns
I walk it drags
I use a toilet it gets washed
I pull it forward
I pull it back
I fall short of taking the bloody thing off and doing without.

I have got to the car before trying to leave it behind, but then someone usually tells me I have forgotten it only to get into the car and slam it into the door, but I only find out once we reach our destination.. It then had a lovely shaded brown side...

And if I sit down I sit on the ends and choke myself, this happened last year whilst I was at my very first Indian wedding, some how we were invited up into the front where the bride and groom were sitting and we had to climb over aunts and uncles and finally we are placed into our spot. There was around 100 eyes on us and me only one of about 5 westerners (he was marrying an American)so feeling conscious I sit down quickly ...And UGHHHHHHH

I sit on the ends of my chuni, its so tight around my neck I cant breath, So I wiggle a bit and try to pull it out a little.. My butt lands on some guys foot so I wiggle back and try to discretely tug at the tightening noose around my neck.
after about 20 mins of tugging at it I am able to swollow with ease. I believe the ring ceremony was nice, I was to busy tugging for my life.

I have since learnt to pull it out before I sit... Consider it a lesson learnt..

Licking Chicken Good

last night at 3am I could not sleep some how I was recalling a not so funny meal time In India.

I am not very tolerant of spice and by now my In-laws know this, though occasionally they think my tolerance has improved and have me taste something spicy. My brother actually says your taste buds re-new themselves every week.. So maybe next week I'll be better.

Anyways...


The story....

So we are at a local shopping mall with Hubbys brother in law jiaji
(Sisters husband ..We all know the status of that right?) anyways.. So he goes on a mission to help sort out the westerner with food.

He is gone for ages and is talking to the men behind the chicken counter, eventually he calls me over to Check the chicken.

"Here try this its not too spicy"
He passes me the chicken coated in bright red curry to try..
I am thinking.. "Are you serious? Its obviously hot" I am also thinking
"Raw chicken and I'm lickin it. Oh yeah I'm going to die today"

So obviously it is TOO HOT... My mouth is burning and despite my better judgment I once and for all say "No I'm sorry Its too Hot"

So... He has his ,behind the counter staff Wash it for me..

So after 20-30 mins a plate of washed but hey now its cooked at least chicken comes to my table.. Jiagi offer it to me and says I hope that is ok for you. Mean while he munches on his whole pickled chili that he MUST have with each meal.

So I take a bite of the chicken.. "Oh Shit!! It's hot" Thinking I can not embarrass anyone here because he has gone to such effort I will just have to eat it. He ask's me if its ok.. And I very politely say yes. Thinking the faster I eat it the better.

At first it was ok, the mucus in my nose was not running too fast and every bite or so I could sneak a wipe with the napkin.

I am literally squirming in my seat with the onset of a raging fire in my mouth. Trying to catch Hubby's eye I wonder why the hell did I demand he sit next to me..For once he actually listened but I needed him to be within eye glance so I could confess my pain with a few flicks of the eyelids.

After 20 napkins and 1/2 a bottle of water hubby suspects something is up and asks me if its ok. I mumble a NO under my breath....

He then asks me to try someone else's dish which is curd based so I can cool off my mouth..hmm nice I say. That's nice.. So I get some more. And politely offer my chicken to everyone....

After 2 pieces I sit back and say.. "gee I am so full" "Such Yummy food"

Surprisingly I didn't die from raw chicken licking. But I did cleanse all my nasal passages and burn my taste buds down 6 days early so they could Re-new them selves quicker. Cause after all it was only a snack till we got home.

Karva Chauth

I had made a list of topics for my blog and my next one was going to be
karva chauth for those who don't know what that is here is a link on Karva Chauth But now it seems a little Try-hard to win back my "U hate Indians" fans. Thats if doing something Indian actually win them back.


But to heck with what's right and what's not this is next on my to-do list and god damn it I hate to skip over my lists.



Karva Chauth has been very very vaguely explained to me via my husband and his knowledge for Indian traditions and festivals it surprisingly limited, if not flexible and inconsistent.

Basically (as I understand it ) is you fast for your husbands well being...not its original concept but it's latest.

I have done this twice in our 3 years of marriage, not sure what happened one year maybe I did it, maybe we forget.. Not really sure. I don't understand the whole thing and basically just do what I am told.

So I didn't wear my wedding lengha or adorn myself in jewels, I did take a shower before my husband came home and geez I even brushed my hair, put some perfume.
(hubby didn't notice my effort) Only that I had forgotten to wear bangles.

The only problem was the moon was no where to be seen, my husband was unsure what to do as there was no moon to pour the milk towards. I figured pouring it into the sky was close enough afterall the moon can not be seen all the time all over the world and there had to be a solution.

I think my husband was considering allowing me to starve until the moon came up, but I was hungry and irritated and once again annoyed about the "flexible beliefs" my husband has. Some how it ended in an argument.. Consumed about thoughts of grabbing the nearest food item just to spite my husbands good will were all too tempting..

But I decided to have a cup of coffee and calm myself down
Hubby decided to ring his mother and find out a solution

By this time we were living in a very hostile environment with tears and yelling and just complete annoyance between us both for very different reasons that had been blown out of proportion by both of us.

His mother told him he had to cook me dinner. I was relieved and felt for a brief moment I was being supported by other women.

And I guess that is the origin of how the Karva Chauth started, Women helping women.

So maybe I got it afterall...

And just as I finish this post Mumiji rings me to check I am ok , not needing any help and not lonely (hubby is away) How is that for coincidence ?

Choose a Topic and Stick With it..

I have just recevied my first critisim about my blog.

Obiously not my first critisim in life cause you dont get this pesimisitc, distrusting,defensive or insecure by being praised your whole life by anyone and everyone.


But it is in fact my first negative comments about Gorigirl. In my defence I will remind the people who read this blog that this is infact a blog about being married to an Indian and the problems encountered. It is not a blog about Cooking,gardening or a blog setup to bash indians.

This is a blog about a "Western girl married to and Indian" (as the title suggests) ..and hence that is what I write about....


It was asked "Why did I bother to marry an Indian"

My only response to that is I didn't Marry a Indian, I married a man who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with and he just happens to be Indian. And that is a very very different thing as far as I am concerned.

Touching Feet...

Now this is something I struggle with..

Touching the feet of elders... Who of you fellow gorigirls do it?
how does it make you feel ?

I feel an overwhelming anxiety come over me around 4 minutes before hand when I know the feet are coming towards me...

My heart thumps my breathing heavy and my senses go..The voices become muffled. The lump in my throat chokes me from with in..
and then..I have to time the swoop for the right moment, as not to trip, fall or embarrass myself.
I have to take one hand to my Chunni to stop if from falling as I bend my head down to below my arse, remembering to keep my arse tucked in to avoid catapulting the person standing behind me into a bum push to the ground.

then..I swoop down. Touch the feet as quickly as possible and proceed to come up for air. Glance around the room to see if anyone is laughing at me or if I have done something wrong. Did it.. Sigh of relief comes over me as I begin again for the next relative.


Hubby usually warns me..
And as I said timing is everything.. Your walking out the door.. Your saying goodbye 10 times, when is the right time?
Now.. No he has turned..
Now... No now she is looking at me funny..
NOW.. Oh god they moved away the moment has passed.
My Husband glares at me.
They are all looking at me to touch the feet..
The palpatations become to great I retract, I retreat.
Oh shit now I am in trouble I didn't touch aunty's feet when I was clearly told to.

I know they are discussing my behaviour.. I know I am in trouble.

But its not easy.. its frightening and scary...


Want to make sure your kids do it right ? Teaching your kids to touch feet

Whats the best thing about being married to an Indian?

Well I started this question off in my group with a variety of answers.

to clarify the question it is about being married to an Indian.. Not just being married..

We all know the up's and down of marriage but "what is the best?" and hey lets go for "what is the worst" thing about being married to an Indian??


Best thing would be..... I am not sure I can actually pic out anything that I could say is an "Indian" thing. But as I asked the question I should also answer it.

So I am going to go for.. Learning a new culture.

but I am also going to add that for the worst thing about being married to an Indian..is the cultural conflicts... especially when it comes to family politics...

There is a highracey I not only dont fully understand but I dont agree with.. everyone is equal in my eye, no matter if they married the girl..or did something or whatever... and in my eyes.. you Earn respect your not automatically granted it.

Baked Beans

Just to go with my Bland food thing..

Last night I had baked beans for dinner..
I even had it cold and out of the can.

Oh the freedom !!!

India Bashing

OK

So I am guilty of Indian Bashing.. But I find it funny but not in a Hahaha way when people India Bash to me... Do they not realise my husband is Indian?

the latest is the Call centre dramas with basically Indian call centre staff being hated here like the plague.. they have become the butt of soooo many jokes and current affair complaints.

But as these people go on and on about it to me personally making comments such as..

"I cant even understand the stupid Indian"
"Wobbling his head no doubt" (probally is actually lol)
"Dont these people have any respect for privacy"
"They are taking over the world" (often thought that actually)

but... I don't know I wouldn't tell fat jokes to someone whois mother was 500kgs...
sooo

Its not my fault my husband has defects..LOL

anyone else encountered this ??

Can Indians Fast?

Hubby is away for 2 weeks so I have been having boiled vegetables and other boring bland food (as my hubby refers to it)

and If I am not hungry well I dont have to bother making something to eat which is nice.. and I can even skip a meal if I want to.

Is it just my Indian husband or do all Indians lack the ability to skip a meal without feeling weak?? or Lathargic??

Why is this ?

Why is a sandwich NOT A Meal
and why isnt soup a Meal?
Why can we eat baked beans and egg for Dinner??
What is so wrong with plain TOast????

The questions go on and on......

Indian Shopping Malls

I have to comment on the Indian shopping Malls...

Since my last visit to india these have popped up all over delhi and numerous malls are in the process of being built..

So what are my thought on these mega shopping cities?? Well as for shopping is concerned I don't find them cheap, but I do find the "Easy"

Easy as in- Airconditioned (no one likes to sweat)
Easy as in- no touts (no one likes to be hassled so much your scared to look)
Easy as in- no Hassles (hey it says it all)
Easy as in- no crowds ( I am noise sensative and crowds..well.. Crowd me)
Easy as in -limited staring.... (staring is traumatic for me)
Easy as in- Clean Toilets..(I admit it..I do HAVE to go a lot)

So for super malls I give them a thumbs up, they are my little westernised sanctuary in a culture that I just don't blend into...

Battle Of The Sexes

I find myself arguing over that word R.E.S.P.E.C.T, but I am not breaking out in song........

I don't think this post is Indian man Versus Gori girl but I believe it is a male versus female thing.

Do all men think they know best? I honestly believe my husband hears BLAH BLAH BLAH when I speak.

I wonder wether my husband, Indian or maybe just male really thinks I know nothing ....or if he just treats me that way.....


note: this post was written after an argument so hostile comments may not being applicable by tomorrow morning... but then again they might.

Indian Beauty Parlors

This topic recently came up whilst chatting to a fellow Gori who is married to an Indian who went through the same thing as me.

My in laws sent me off to the beauty Parlor before our Indian Reception and I am sure they meant well and I am sure it was a tradition that had to be completed as hubby also went off to have stuff done...

The only difference was he came back looking the same and I came back looking quite different. Firstly the Lady had never applied makeup to a westerner so the coloring was wrong and the layer of gold dust didnt soften anything just exagerated my features which left me feeling rather "UNLIKE ME". And when your in an uncomfortable situation thats not the best thing to be feeling....

It was very very different though, my hair was to be curled but the power didnt go on to late and the curling iron wasnt hot and I can't recall exactly why but she was pulling it tightly through my hair and it was hurting like heck.. But Of course being the person that I am I didnt speak out..

I don't think I have ever had as much attention paid to me before or after that day. including the day of my own western wedding...

Mehndi

Mehndi- Is a henna paste that is applied to the hands during a wedding ceremony

I had both my hands and feet done.. it was quite a unreal experience really, to men in the market sat on little stools and applied the henna to me, while a relative sat near to keep me safe.. I had to sit still for over 30 mins while they applied it and then several hours whilst the henna dried.

I had to go home on the scooter with my husband ,with my hands and feet sticking out.
Keep in mind this was the first time I had been on a scooter and not being able to hold on was traumatic to say the least.

The henna was itchy and irritating but I was prompted to leave it on as long as possible to make it dark as possible.


here are some Mehndi Jeans that you can make...

Bleached Mehndi Jeans

Stage Fright

Gee Writing a Blog isnt easy afterall... I am already stumped on what to write about...

the fear of "Going Public" with my thoughts on India.. My Husband and everything else in between has just left me with stage fright !!!

I mean what if my inlaws read something they shouldn't... what if I say something I shouldn't.

Why am I so concerned ? not everything I have to say about India is nice.. Not everything I have to say about my husband is Nice... Iam not always nice..

Namastigi

This blog is a branch off from my Yahoo Goup InsideIndia which was set up several years ago after I met and fell in Love with an Indian Man.

The name Gori- Means - White Girl- hence the title for this blog. Every other name I wanted was taken so I am settling for Gori Girl... it is afterall what I am.

So welcome to my blog