Thursday, September 21, 2006

Full House @ the Temple

Well Sunday we took another trip to the temple, as ignorant as it sounds I am not sure of the exact reason only the reason given to me by mu husband which was "We have to go to give respect to those who have passed away" which is probally the same reason mumiji gave him and thus motivated him to go.

Well we know the temple is open from 4-6pm with a feast afterwards so we make plans to go at 5:45pm , which is enough time to place our offering and then eat, yes I know that's probally rude and ungreatful But atleast we were at the temple right?

However... A special pundit was in town and the temple was so full my gori butt was half in the temple and half on the door frame. Does this mean I was only half blessed??

The temple was split into men and women and I had to sit on the men's side partially cause there was no room on the ladies side and partially because I was intimidated by all the Indian Aunty's and could not bring myself to go and sit amongst them.

I had a good view of everyone else and that suited me as we sat there 1 1/2 hours while the extended singing went on.

To one side of me there were several HareKrishna's (westerners) they were clapping, singing , chanting and had each speach translated to them by what appeared to be the head krishna.

I kept thinking how boring it was that I did not know what was being said and this comes back to my usual moan of how my husband does not translate anything. When I asked what was being said he just said oh just crap.

So I continued to sit there for 1 1/2 hours listening to the pundit speaking words I could not understand...

Now onto the food... well hubby says it was fantastic!!! I don't know how not to take offence at this... I mean he gets indian food cooked most nights and to see someone jumping with glee over the vegetable subji that was to me simply just OK.
I find it a reflection on my cooking and feel that I have yet again failed at being the "Perfect Indian Wife".

Yes I know Iam being too sensitive.. but well that is who I am.

"I am sensitive and Id like to stay that way"...Song by Jewel

6 comments:

Quizman said...

I find it a reflection on my cooking and feel that I have yet again failed at being the "Perfect Indian Wife".

As an Indian married man who has interacted with many other Indian couples - and I may be out on a limb when I write this - it may be that the reaction on your cooking would be the same even if you were Indian born. I have seen many Indian men and women try to either (a) want to replicate their mother's cooking whereever they go OR (b) try to relish whatever reminds them of their childhood favoriters (temple, restaurant whatever).

Ergo, everyone falls short of that expection. I have lambasted my friends for criticising pot-luck dishes made by other (Indian) friends and criticising cuisines from other cultures ad nauseum. I encourage my friends to relish in diversity. It would be terribly boring if everyone cooked the same way. It is a very annoying trait that I find among South Asians. The comforting aspect of this behavior is that it is not an example of bigotry, but is indicative of a fanatical holding-on to childhood. :-)

Regarding your other point:
When I asked what was being said he just said oh just crap.

Actually, a vast majority of Indians have no idea of what is being said since Sanskrit is more or less forgotten (like Latin).

If it is of any comfort to you, I will add that what you are feeling is felt by most Indians (especially modern women) of your generation. In other words, don't get disheartened that it is unique to you because of your western roots. [Even though there are certain experiences that will be unique to you because of it. But not these!]

Quizman said...

Btw, in case I was misunderstood. I did not mean to imply that you should accept whatever or suppress your feelings just because it is also experienced by Indians. :-)

You have every right to feel the way you do. I read a few of your previous posts and your angst is well appreciated. Karva Chauth, for instance, is an archaic tradition that has nothing to do with Hinduism. In fact, it is not even practised outside of certain regions in India.

And if my (Indian) wife and Indian women friends heard some of the comments you have heard or experienced (per your blogs), then they would give a piece of mind to the other persons as well. :-P

Btw, if you want to know about progressive articles etc written by Indian bloggers check out Desipundit and India Uncut. The first one is a blog aggregator (a bunch of desi bloggers who post the links to interesting Indian blog posts) and the other is the Indian blogger who gets the most traffic on his site. . Maybe, after reading some other blogs, you may feel that (a) you are not alone (b)some Indian men are ardent feminists!

Shell said...

Quizman, thanks for the post, At least I know I am not alone and no offence was taken.

Today we are off to a Indian bazaar hubby is in search of that elusive "mothers cooking" and I am in search of some decorations for diwali. Thanks for the links I will check them out.

Rimi said...

Hey, I JUST noticed your comment on my blog. Thanks for dropping by. You have a lovely blog here, I really hope you start writing again.

And I've often been told that worrying about conceiving prevents coneption. I've no idea how, but, well... I don't mean to intrude, but I did read you last posts and thought maybe you were a little worried.

Anonymous said...

Is, "Oh just crap." a direct quote from your husband or are you summarizing?

Sorry but I loved it, it made me laugh out loud.

Shell said...

Oh just crap... No iam pretty sure thats what he said.. at least thats what I heard..LOL